Monday 30 September 2013

Sienna's 100wc - week 5:

FLASHBACK
I was walking down the pavement, the clouds were an angry grey. No-one was out. After a while it began to thunder, the rain crashed down on my back while the storm clouds released a noisy boom. Suddenly the world seemed to turn orange. I think I fainted. I don't know how long I'd been there; but suddenly a funny tortoise was found on my back. It stuck its hand up. Petrified and panic-stricken, stunning yet almighty, it looked like it waved. Then a tall woman came over: "How are you?" she bellowed. I stopped and stared...
"You're a murderer!" I gasped.

By Sienna.

2 comments:

  1. What a fantastic 100wc, Sienna - it's great to see you using so much ambitious language in your work and also cramming in those Two Pairs sentences! Smashing writing!
    Mr K :-)

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  2. Penny Team 100 WC6 October 2013 at 22:57

    That's a great piece of writing Sienna. I really liked the build up at the beginning in your description of the thunderstorm, and you've used a very good range of vocabulary. One thing - try to think of another word than suddenly - it's good to vary your words and try to make sure not to use the same word twice in a short piece like this. Good work - well done!

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