One afternoon I was walking through the park and I saw my uncle. I waved to him and he waved back. Then I saw a funny, cute little tortoise on the orange pavement. I went up close to the tortoise - I stroked it and it wasn't bad. His shell was as green as a leaf. After that I started to walk home. I looked back and the tortoise was behind me, so I picked it up and went back home - the tortoise was now my pet. "Yaaaay I'm so happy!"
By Nathan D.
This is a well-written 100wc Nathan - well done! Next, begin to think about how to get more excitement into your writing - eg, did you need the bit where you wave to your uncle? Also, think about using even more ambitious language (you made a good start with the simile for the shell!). Remember those Two Pairs and 2A sentences, too!
ReplyDeleteMr K :-)
In my story that I enter was smaller to yours. Nice Job:)
ReplyDeletethis is a very good 100 words!!!!.SUPER JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAmazing Nathan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete