Gosh, what a haunting 100wc, Lily! You've written this so beautifully, creating sadness and tension expertly - well done! The whole class is really enjoying your writing - keep it up! One thing to think about is your use of the word 'territory' - is it quite the right word to use there? Brilliant writing! Mr K :-)
Hello Lily, I just loved listening to read your 100 word challenge, as well as being able to read it. To make this even better Lily, perhaps you could slow down your reading and think of the person who is listening to your story. Captivate the reader with your voice AND your words.
Your short sentences really help to add to the impact of the sadness in your writing, helping to create empathy for the character at this sad time. Well done! A challenge for your next piece of writing - try to include an ending for your 100 word challenge. This is hard to do, but I am sure you will try really hard. Good luck and I am sure that Mr Kenyon will keep me updated.
Gosh, what a haunting 100wc, Lily! You've written this so beautifully, creating sadness and tension expertly - well done! The whole class is really enjoying your writing - keep it up! One thing to think about is your use of the word 'territory' - is it quite the right word to use there?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant writing!
Mr K :-)
Hello Lily,
ReplyDeleteI just loved listening to read your 100 word challenge, as well as being able to read it. To make this even better Lily, perhaps you could slow down your reading and think of the person who is listening to your story. Captivate the reader with your voice AND your words.
Your short sentences really help to add to the impact of the sadness in your writing, helping to create empathy for the character at this sad time. Well done! A challenge for your next piece of writing - try to include an ending for your 100 word challenge. This is hard to do, but I am sure you will try really hard. Good luck and I am sure that Mr Kenyon will keep me updated.
Mrs Duxbury